


Richie Swears He Isn’t Alice - Extra Scenes

by hardlylurking



Series: What Happens in Derry (is hard to explain) [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Adrian Mellon Lives, Everybody Lives, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 14:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21199103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hardlylurking/pseuds/hardlylurking
Summary: These are four short scenes that follow the events of Richie Swears He Isn’t Alice. It probably won't make sense unless you read that first.1. Don gets a letter.2. What about Stan?3. Georgie goes to bed.4. Richie checks his email.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to everyone who read Richie Swears He Isn’t Alice. These are scenes I wrote that didn't fit into the main fic for various reasons. Please enjoy!

Don paces in front of the building, his arms jumping from crossed to threaded in his hair and back. He knows its bullshit. It’s probably just more small town homophobes playing one final prank on him. Adrian would be so disappointed he’s here. _ Seriously, babe? _ He can hear him saying, _ A letter from some heterosexist comedian has you missing your flight out of this shithole? _He doesn’t need Adrian to tell him he’s crazy. He knows.

He opens the letter one more time.

<strike>_Hey Dude_</strike> Greetings Mr. Don Hagarty_,_

_I probably should have come and found you in person before we skipped town, but to be honest I couldn’t spend another fucking minute here. _<strike>_Plus, Eddie is really distracting. I feel like you’d feel me if you met him_</strike>_<strike>.</strike> Hit me up, by the way. I think we would get along, since your dude sounds like a carbon copy of __<strike>Spagheds</strike>._ <strike>Edward</strike>_._ _<strike>Eds</strike>._ Eddie_._

Don would have thrown the letter away, he really would, but the next sentence stopped him.

_ The newspaper article said you saw the clown. _

There it is, in ink on lined paper. The last straw that pushed Don out of this town. The thing that nobody would ever believe.

_ The newspaper article said you saw the clown. My friends and I saw him too. Eddie says you won’t believe me, so I’m giving you some extra details here, even though I personally think psychotic bitch is enough to go on. Huge forehead- like not a five-head but a fifty-head-, pointed teeth, red hair, orange eyes, possibly homophobic? We saw him. He killed my friend’s brother back in the 80’s. This year he killed another friend and my Eds. _

_ That brings us to why I’m writing you. _ _<strike> Well that and I couldn’t find your email or a twitter or a phone number. I mean Jesus Christ dude, are you off the grid?</strike> _ _ I got Eddie back. And my kid, but that was a side bonus. You need to get to the Derry Townhouse and, like, believe or something? Trust me, it sounds like a crock of shit, but if the edits __in this letter tell you anything it’s that Eddie is still here, eternally irritated by yours truly. _

_ Go get your man, dude. _ _  
_ _ Richie Tozier _and Edward P. Kaspbrak

_ PS Seriously hit me up though. My twitter is @trashmouth. Eddie says you can email him at ekaspbrak76@gmail.com, but you should message his secret twitter that I made that he doesn’t know about yet, @edsktozier. _

Don sighs one more time, folding the letter back into his pocket, and opens the door to the Derry Townhouse. He’s not quite sure what he expected. He and Adrian had walked by this place more times than he could count on their way to the park. The kitschy decor and the 50’s furnishings are entirely unsurprising, however.

“Hello?” He calls into the hotel. The front desk is abandoned and the bar in the room to the left is unattended, with dirty glasses littering its surface. He walks through to the central room and calls again up the stairs.

“Is anyone here?”

He stands there in the dirty foyer of the hotel listening to the echoes fade before throwing the letter on the ground.

“It was a lie. It was all fucking lies.” Don thought he was done crying. He was moving on, moving to New York to start again, but this pushed him over the edge. This was so messed up. If it had been homophobes playing a prank he would have been jumped the second he walked in here, but instead here he is, somehow more broken than if he’d taken a fist to the face.

He spins on his heel to walk out of the building. If he leaves now, he'll probably still make it to Bangor in time for his flight. As he’s turning, he sees it. A note stuck to a door tucked into the corner where the stairs become a landing.

_ Cute asthmatics only (No clowns allowed). _

He lets out a huff of disbelief. This really is too far. Don can’t stop himself from opening the door though. It swings out into a dark tunnel. It extends far too long to possibly exist in the same space as this utility closet. He doesn’t really think about it though because he is too distracted by the voice echoing from it’s depths.

“Fucking bullshit, absolute fucking bullshit. I mean, get mugged by homophobe hicks? Sure, whatever. Find yourself in god damn Derry for the afterlife? Fine. Fucking fine. But open one shitty door and end up trapped in eternal darkness? Fuck you! Just fuck you, life. Fuck.”

For a second Don can’t breathe. He feels like he needs an inhaler himself as he just stands there gasping. Finally he pulls it together enough to call into the darkness.

“Adrian?”

  
  


**Adrian Mellon @adrianmwrites** @trashmouth so like, did you guys get a big stink eye from @DerryPD or...

**richie tozier ✔ @trashmouth** @adrianmwrites welcome back dude! u and @edsktozier should start a support group: i offended @DerryPD by being alive

**Edward Kaspbrak @edsktozier** @adrianmwrites Glad you’re back, please email me and we can meet up. @trashmouth go fuck yourself.

**richie tozier ✔ @trashmouth** @edsktozier ok you wanna watch?

**Adrian Mellon @adrianmwrites** @trashmouth Don says hi. @edsktozier your lack of retort is telling.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay, so Eddie turned out to be pretty easy to bring back, but what the hell are we going to do about Stan?” Richie asks, standing in the foyer with the other Losers while Eddie does his fifth and final sweep of the room upstairs.

“Oh, gosh.” Patty says, hands flying to her mouth. “I didn’t even think about it! Stan, I have your death certificate in the safe at home. I buried you in Greenwood two weeks ago.”

Stan grabs Patty’s hand, squeezing reassuringly. “I’m here now, Pats. I’ll never leave you again.”

She smiles at him, leaning into his side. The two take a moment to be overwhelmingly sweet before Richie interrupts.

“Yeah, but seriously. What are you going to say? ‘Sorry, I went on a trip and somebody staged a body in my house while I was gone’? I really doubt that’s going to fly.”

  
  
  


**AJC ✔ @ajc** [Link] Medical student prank goes too far, local accountant mistakenly reported dead

**richie tozier ✔ @trashmouth** @stanleyurisaccounting wtf i can’t believe that worked

**Stanley Uris @stanleyurisaccounting** @trashmouth beep beep.

**Patricia Uris @patriciauris72** @trashmouth don’t forget you promised to spend Thanksgiving with us this year. Missing you already!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie, this is just some set up for the documentary sequel that I definitely started writing.


	3. Chapter 3

Eddie watches them from the doorway inside their new house in Beverly Hills. It’s easy to forget, when he hasn’t seen them together for so long, that Richie was always Georgie’s favorite.

Right now, Richie is supposed to be putting Georgie to bed. Eddie has to admit it looks like they started off strong. Georgie is in his new pajama set, a button down combo to match the ones Eddie likes to wear, tucked under the navy comforter while Richie sits on the side of the bed smiling down at him. The amount of laughter, though, tells him that somewhere along the line they had gotten off track.

“So then, and you really can’t tell Bill I told you this, okay? He would definitely kill me. There we were, six cool dudes standing on top of a cliff in our underwear, ready to show this new girl how its done. But like, she just goes flying past us. Just clean jumps right off while we’re standing there kicking our heels. I mean, Bev is just about a thousand times cooler than any of the rest of us.”

Georgie is staring at Richie like he can’t believe there could ever be someone cooler than him. He’ll never admit it, but sometimes Eddie can relate.

“So you didn’t jump?”

“I did eventually. But Bev, your Auntie Bev is just the toughest human being out there. She never backs down from anything.”

“You jumped, though. Because you’re tough too, Richie.” Georgie is smiling up at Richie like he used to when they were kids. Like Richie’s stories are gospel truth. Like he is the reason the sky is blue. Like Richie single handedly saved his entire family. So, like he’s Richie.

“You’re tough too, Georgie. Who helped me rescue my darling Eds from that creepy mine?”

Georgie’s grin gets toothier as he replies, “I did.”

“And who agreed with me to buy this house even though Eddie couldn’t get the last thirty years of wiring records from the city?”

“I did!”

“And who survived an attack from the dastardly tickle monster, right here in this bed?”

“I did- wait, eep!” Georgie explodes into shrieks of laughter as Richie’s hands run up his sides, kicking up the blankets. They continue the battle until Georgie gets the upper hand, flailing him away. The two catch their breath and settle back down.

“Um. Richie, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, little dude. I’m an open book. Especially if it’s an embarrassing story about Eddie, I’ve got a ton of those.” Eddie prepares to interrupt before his reputation is tarnished.

“Could I- I mean, you told the police that I was your kid, right? So that makes you- I mean-” Georgie knots up the blanket between his hands until it covers his face, leaving only the top of his head exposed. “Can I call you my dad?”

Eddie leans against the door frame as Richie looks down at Georgie with a shocked expression. It quickly morphs into one of fondness. He tucks his arms around Georgie and kisses the only patch of hair he can reach.

“You can call me whatever you want, Georgie. I love you.” Georgie pulls the blanket back to gaze up at Richie.

“I love you too, Dad.”

The two of them stare at each other, matching smiles spreading on their faces.

Eddie blinks away the mistiness in his eyes and gives them a moment together. Then he stomps into the room with his hands on his hips. “It’s thirty minutes past bedtime, guys!”


	4. Chapter 4

After a chaotic month of getting settled back into LA, including buying the house across the street from Big Bill, Richie decides to pull his life back together. He emails his agent to cancel his hiatus and while he’s at it decides to go through the hundreds of emails he’s missed over the past few months.

When Eddie sees what he’s doing he tells him that he better check his spam folder too, since sometimes important stuff gets lost there. Richie would ignore his advice, but at this point he is well past pretending not to be whipped. There’s a whole tag on twitter about it, after all. When he finds the below he huffs out a laugh.

_ To: rtozier69dude@gmail.com _ _   
_ _ From: reservations@thederrytownhouse.net _

_ Subject: DO NOT REPLY: Reservation Cancelled _

_ Dear Guest, _

_ We are sorry to inform you that your reservation request could not be processed. The Derry Townhouse is closed for the summer of 2016 in preparation for a full renovation, which is scheduled to be completed by mid-fall. _

_ We thank you for your patronage and hope that you consider us again after our grand reopening. The new design is sure to blow you away! This is an automated email, your card will not be charged. _

_ Thank you, _   
_ Abigail Stern _ _   
General Manager_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for extra scenes, thanks for reading! This one almost made the main fic, but I really wanted Eddie to have the last word.
> 
> The documentary sequel is underway, and for some reason taking a very American Vandal tone. I think its going to clock in at just over 5K, all said and done.


End file.
